Chapter 22: Courage and Madness

I wonder, what am I even doing?

WaAAAAAA!

Im running through the dungeon passages raising my pathetic yells. Swaying my heavy body.

GueRaaa!

From behind, I can hear the vulgar cries of Goma.

And right now Im running away. By myself. Leaving behind my life saviour, my only ally, that small, sweet classmate of mine; leaving behind Momokawa Kotarou.Tp vl updates on n/(o)/v/lb/in(.)com

Haa Haa aa

I have to help. I can still make it. I need to go back to help right now Even if I keep thinking that over and over, my body refuses to act. Forget stopping, my legs only accelerate. Trying to gain distance, even the tiniest bit faster, I run for my life.

Im the worst. Repaying my debt with a stab in the back. I, as a human being, am the absolute worst.

Deserting Momokawa-kun, not acting the least bit to go help, running away as fast as I possibly can The me who kept running even now, she was a pile of unsalvageable trash.

My chest is bursting in worry for him. My heart is crushed in self-loathing. The endless stream of tears escaping from my eyes isnt only from fear.

Yet, my body gives priority only to its own survival instinct. My reasoning mind looking back at my actions seemed to be clearly cut of from my instincts driving my body forward.

What ruled over the faculties controlling my body, was simply and only, pure terror.

That my pathetic will would be unable to overcome this foreboding was a fact made painfully obvious from my experiences up to now.

Thats right. In the end, I was only a wimpy pig. Kisaragi-san, Natsukawa-san, Satou-san, them abandoning me was only natural. Even the kind Momokawa-kun is undoubtedly resenting me for one-sidedly deserting him.

Aah, maybe as a Shaman, Momokawa-kun can curse this deplorable me. If so, Id prefer he curse me to death. If I were to be stabbed by Goma anyway, Id much rather die receiving retribution from his curse.

Ah!?

My conscience swimming in a torrent of guilt, is brought back to reality. For an instant, my body underwent a floating sensation. And right after, came a shock.

A ouch!

I had stumbled on something, and thunderously fell down. Was it a stone, some rubble, or perhaps tree roots that tripped my legs. I dont know, but neither do I care.

At any rate, right here, my escaping had come to a stop.

Hii!?

Behind me was a bend in the passage. And from beyond there, I echoed the Gomas grunts. Very soon would I hear even their savage exhalations.

A-aah No

Will I be dying here?

No. I dont wanna die. Loudly screamed the ugly instincts that made me run all the way here.

And, even thinking reasonably, I didnt want to die. Thats what I had answered. That I didnt want to die yet, when Momokawa-kun had asked.

Dont wanna die, I dont want to die. But my real wish I want to help.

I, wanted to help Momokawa-kun. I wanted to become his strength. I still havent, repaid him the slightest bit.

Having him heal the wound in my stomach, having him take me as an ally. Not having the courage to finish off the Red Dog, shamefully getting him to do it with me when stabbing that bait Goma.

What Knight. Im always, Im only being protected. Only being, given to.

But, no matter how much I regret, not matter how much I look back on what ifs, I cant make myself take real action. When the time comes, I dont act.

I lack courage.

A bit, I need just a tiny bit. Just enough to still, when I cower in fear. Just enough to halt, when I scramble to run.

I want it. I want courage.

If I only had that, I could

A

It appeared in my teary, blurry field-of-vision.

My right hand. I was, holding something there. A dirty, brown pelt bag. White powder tumbling from within. Half having dropped onto the passage, and the other half, smeared onto my hand and arm.

It mustve gotten out when I fell. This, Gomas narcotic.

Kay, lets see here when ingested, it uplifts the spirit and eases fatigue, you get into a state of extreme high, and furthermore, has a strong addiction factor wait, this is a drug!

Bleck! went Momokawa-kuns expression, it was pretty cute. Wait no, not that; right, with his Shaman powers, he was deciphering the attributes of this drug.

Usage was per inhalation. Effects: uplifting the mind, and alleviating weariness. Additionally, causing great excitement.

Hey, Momokawa-kun If I used this, could I

Drugs, bad, dont. Words like that come to mind.

However, for me at this moment, the laws and ethics of Japan stand for zero use. They wont stand, for the tiniest use. Because right now, Im in a dungeon. A do-or-die survival, one where theres even the possibility of fellow classmates killing each other; a phantasmal scenario.

Even I, become strong

Thinking like that, theres no need to hesitate.

This narcotic, this devils white powder covering my hand, itd only take a whiff. Even I could do something that trivial.

Momokawa-kun, please give me courage

With a fierce prayer, I put my hand to my mouth and

ooOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Eh, what, whats this, its great. Great, its amazing!

Mo-moving, my bodys moving. Welling up, power. From the pit of my stomach, from the depths of my chest. Overflowing, ohh, its coming, rising. Power all over my body, feels as if its exploding!

O, AaAAA!

My bodys light. Rising. soaring. Like a feather dancing in the wind, my body feels exceedingly nimble.

I turn. With just that basic act, I feel like Ive burst off. Cant control, this power. I cant settle myself.

BugE!Ge, GuEAA!

It jumps out in front of me, this black, black, person shaped, ahh, what was it, who was it, this thing.

Its bright. Was it, always this bright? See, I can see, better than just before, vividly, my eyes are crystal clear.

So I saw it. The black thing coming at me. Whats that its hand? That shiny thing. Dangerous, thats sharp, and dangerous.

Haa Fuu!

If a fly got close, youd brush it away right? Even if it didnt touch you, just by reflex. Go away, shoo.

Its the same. But, its different. It touched. Just slightly, on my palm, it touched.

BuGE

Plop, like a water-balloon, it blew off. Fragile, fleeting. The black thing, isnt there anymore. All that remains, is the dark red that coils my hand. Disgust, I dont feel it. I mean, Im used to blood. Its unavoidable in cooking. Even this raw stench.

But, one must be quick to wash it off. Huh, where was the sink again?

GaBURA!? GuENZEra

Not giving me the time to wash, the black ones keep coming. Passage-fulls of them. Plap-plap, pitter-patter, quiet, shut up. The heck, are these

Aa Bu-UaAAAAA

Ah, I remember. Goma, these are Goma. Momokawa-kun called them that. Momokawa-kun said that, wed kill the Goma.

Go-maa kill, gilll

Momokawa-kun said it, so we gotta do it. I have to do it. I must, do it for him.

GoaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Beat, beat. Ill beat, and beat, and crush. Do it, right now, I can do it, quite easily. Compared to kneading Hamburg steak, its childs play.

The passage went red. When it did, the Goma were gone.

Ahaha, did it, I did it Momokawa-kun.

Mo, Momo, kaa -ku

Where. Hey, Momokawa-kun, where, where are you? I, did it see? The first time, I did it see, just like you said, Momokawa-kun.

Since I did it, now youll be happy right? Youll laugh right? Momokawa-kun, Im not, troubling you right?

So, you wont abandon me right? Youll be with me right?

But why Momokawa-kun, why arent you here?

A-ah AaAA

I have to look for him. I have to find him.

Ah, yeah, thats wrong. That said it wrong. Why, did I forget I wonder. Something that important.

I remembered. Momokawa-kun, I have to help him.

Fu, haa

Run run. I run, and run. Breathing doesnt stammer. It isnt painful. Full power, non stop, I can run. Right now I can run so, so fast.

Maybe thats why, yup, that is why, I quickly found him.

Stostaaa

Momokawa-kun, was crying. In tatters, groveling on the floor.

Hey, why, how come youre crying? How come you look so pained, so sad, so lonely.

GuGue!

The Goma, it kicked Momokawa-kun.

Seeing, watching that, watching his face crying, writhing in agony, watching that, having seen that, couldnt, I couldnt think anymore. My vision, my head, all dyed in red, red, blood red.

Slaughter.

ooOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!

Die, die, diediediedie. Everyone die, everything die. Everything that made Momokawa-kun cry will die. Kill, kill, I will KILL. One, two, three, everyone, everybody, everything, all of them, slaughter.

GoaAAAAAAAAA!

Die, die, kill killed. Completely, every black I saw, I changed to red.

Where, where are they. The ones making Momokawa-kun cry, making him suffer. I wont forgive them, Ill never forgive them. Making Momokawa-kun, my Momokawa-kun

Fu, fuh!

At some point, every one was gone. Someone had, made them all red and scattered them on the floor.

Ah, thank goodness. With that, theres no one left whod do mean things to Momokawa-kun. All of them died. All, Id killed them all.

Fuuu, Aah Mo, Momoka -ku

F-Futaba -san

Huh, Momokawa-kun, hes still crying. Still, shaking. Whats the matter, scared? Of what? Of whom?

Its okay, its okay

Momo, kaWa, -kun

Its all okay now Momokawa-kun. Im here, Im here you know. Its only me here.

So its fine right, I can comfort you right?

Mo, Momo Ka, aAa

Hii!?

Hes frightened. Poor Momokawa-kun, hes so sweet. I want to comfort him, hold him. I dont want to talk I just, want him.

Mo, AaaAAA!

UwaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Caught you! Yay, ahh, wow, small, youre so little, Momokawa-kun. Take off my hands, I could lose him. Take away my eyes, and the same.

But, its okay. Ill never, ever let you go. I wont run anymore. So you too Momokawa-kun, dont run away. Together forever, gyuu!

Fu, haAAaa Fu, taba-san! S-top!

Ah, I see it. Just now, I saw it. From the collar of his gakuran, Momokawa-kuns white neck. So slender, so ephemeral, ahh, so, so yummy.

BuaAAAAAAAA!

Yummy. Youre delicious, Momokawa-kun. Ive never eaten anything so scrumptious in my whole life. Momokawa-kuns flavor.

GyaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

More, I need more. The first bite was amazing, that first bite, it starves me for more.

Not enough, more, give me more.

All of Momokawa-kun, give it to me.

Red, FeveEEEEEEEERRRR!

Me Your Everything

You want it, then grasp it with your own power

At the edge of my dimming consciousness, I heard a voice.

Futaba Meiko, from now, your Vocation will be

I wonder who. Definitely isnt Momokawa-kun. His voice is cute too, but not like a sensual womans tone.

And around there, I lost conscience.

Berserker

Chapter end